How quickly and how thoroughly memory decays is inconsistent within our own lives, and inconsistent with the experience of others. Layered under that is what is noticed. What remains are continuously conflicting memories of the past. In a very vague sense there is some cohesion, but it falls apart pretty quickly once details start being introduced.

Coinciding with the structural upheaval in my life, I have been reading philosophers. Not in any attempt to find meaning, it was coincidental, but ultimately not inconsequential. One thing that all wisdom, contemporary or ancient, tends to agree on is that the overwhelming majority will choose comfort over truth. If you cannot distance yourself from truth, others will distance themselves from you.

With the edges of everything so blurry, it is a fine time to ruminate on my identity. Here, the edges always feel particularly blurry. I often become worried that if I express an interest, someone will mistakenly infer understanding or abilities I don't have.